The idea of a free relationship can challenge. Indeed, this very particular union still remains a taboo for many people. Capucine Moreau, sexologist and author explains the functioning and the rules of a free relationship. The Leenkus editorial staff makes the point.
The importance of setting the definition of the free couple
According to Capucine Moreau, a free couple “questions about the norm of sexual exclusivity”. Indeed, this exclusivity, which was called fidelity, is very often the model of current relations. Still according to the specialist, a free couple “decides to review this generally implicit rule”.
The free couple allows themselves to look elsewhere but do not define themselves as one of the other models. For example, in a libertine relationship, the partners can also have sex outside, together or separately. There is often a “requirement for sharing”, which means saying everything to each other or acting together. “We have the idea of a fairly close couple,” explains the specialist.
Can we distinguish a free relationship from a relationship without commitment?
“In a free couple, there is this idea of commitment” explains the sexologist. “We just allow ourselves to have other stories, especially sexual ones, outside of the main relationship,” she adds.
Indeed, we can consider a free couple as a “response” that some people find in the face of the crisis of the classic couple. “The number of separations of couples is quite massive” admits the specialist. However, the idea of non-exclusivity is, according to her, far from new.
Despite everything, the free couple remains a taboo!
However, many prejudices still persist around this union: “Erotic exclusivity is still very present, especially by default since it is the norm! says Capucine Moreau. Still according to her, in reality, it is a “very strong heritage”, which makes the free couple a global taboo.
Indeed, this practice often inspires fear. The specialist indicates observing a “boundary line” from a certain age: “Those under thirty think a lot about the free couple”. However, she reminds us that there is no single, miracle solution for everyone, specifying: “it is up to everyone to do what they want and above all, what they think is good for themselves”.
So how does an open relationship work?
Free relationship… but how does it work? The rules are going to be different depending on the couple. “Some partners prefer not to know anything, while others want to know everything”. Indeed, very often, the partners enact their own defined rules as soon as the couple is formed.
According to the specialist, defining rules can now be complicated. “We do not necessarily fear the same things as his or her partner,” she adds.
Advice for managing an open relationship: “Often, it works better if you don’t set a whole series of rules that are too tight from the start,” says the specialist. According to her, it is then better to let yourself go and experiment according to the encounters.
Also, it is important to remember that the very idea of a free relationship between a couple requires “letting go” as well as a “loss of control”. “You have to accept being heckled by encounters with others,” says the sexologist.
Indeed, an open relationship can be synonymous with pain, worry or even suffering. It is recommended to have “a fairly solid and fairly healthy base” in addition to “sharing something strong enough”.
