“We can laugh at everything, but not with anyone”. Does this sentence bother you? Yet it is not wrong! But if you don’t like it when humor deals with sensitive subjects, don’t worry: there are many more or less funny jokes, and on all subjects. And since humor is as old as humanity, you’re bound to find your happiness with these jokes (or not…)considered to be among the oldest in the world!
#1 Farts, a safe bet
Proof that humor has not evolved that much in several thousand years, the oldest recorded joke in history dates back to 1900 BC. JC (or even more, depending on the sources) and comes to us from an inscription engraved and found among the Sumerians. Spoiler: she talks about farting.
There is one thing that has never happened since time immemorial: a young woman refrained from farting in her husband’s lap.
#2 A kind of joke still common today
We stay in the same period and with the same people for an ancient version of the “It’s the story of a guy who walks into a bar”. The joke can be translated like this:
A dog walks into a tavern and says: “I don’t see anything. Should I open this door?”
One of the interpretations made is that the taverns doubled as brothels and so the dog hoped to see the un-Catholic things happening behind the infamous door.
#3 We had to have fun at the Romans
We do not know exactly the context in which this joke appeared in the 2nd century, but we will conclude that it was not thanks to humor that the Romans imposed themselves militarily in the eyes of the world.
He is an intellectual who is short of money and who sells his books. He then decides to write to his father: “I have good news: I am starting to sell books!”
The humor here resides in the fact that an intellectual who sells his books is no longer one.
#4 Big atmosphere
To stay in ancient Rome, let us evoke the case of the emperor Caligula, a merry joker who reigned between 37 and 41. Although some historians qualify this idea, most history books tell that he was a real bloodthirsty psychopath, who did not hesitate to get rid of his political opponents, among others. We therefore imagine that his humor only made him laugh.
During a banquet organized in his palace, Caligula would have had a fit of laughter. Some guests asked him why. “I thought I would just have to snap my fingers to get you killed.” Imagine the atmosphere for the rest of the meal.
#5 Humor in all circumstances
The Egyptians were also quite funny, since in 1600 BC. JC, while the kingdoms of Thebes and Hyksos shared control of the country, this did not prevent the people from having a good laugh.
How to entertain a bored pharaoh? You make sail on the Nile a boat whose only cargo is young women simply dressed in fishing nets and you urge the pharaoh to go fishing.
Yes, gritty jokes have passed through the ages.
#6 Jean-Marie Bigard had competition
Jokes that are a little redneck or simply focused on sex are therefore not new, as this one also testifies, which dates from the 1st century BC. JC and we would come again from Egypt. To satisfy his needs, it would seem that man has always called on … professionals.
Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey. It is his purse that restricts him.
#7 He looked for it
We’re staying in Egypt for a joke that’s gonna…More
A woman who is blind in one eye has been married to a man for 20 years. When he found another wife, he told her, “I’m going to divorce you because they say you’re blind in one eye.” To which the woman replies: “And it took you 20 years of marriage to realize that?”.
#8 This is medicine
If you are fond of ancient humor (after all it’s a passion like any other), then you must know the Philogelos, considered the earliest known collection of jokes in the West. It brings together no less than 265, all in ancient Greek, and dates from the 4th or 3rd century BC. Here is an example:
He is an intellectual who practices medicine. Someone comes to him and says: “Doctor, when I get up in the morning, for half an hour I see everything dark, and only then do I see clearly”. The doctor replies: “Just wake up half an hour later.”
#9 A rather brutal fall
Come on, a second joke from the Philogelos as a bonus, for black humor fans:
He’s an idiot on trial. He hears that in Hell the courts render just judgments. So he hangs himself.
#10 A cult work
One of the most famous stories of ancient Greece is undoubtedly The Odyssey of Homer, dating from the end of the 8th century BC. JC. This epic (a long poem recounting the mythical exploits of a hero) is considered, with The Illiad, as the founder of ancient Greek culture. Inside we find an ingenious idea that we can consider as a fine line of humor, which changes us in passing from what we have seen so far.
Captured by a Cyclops, Odysseus tells him his name is “Nobody”. When he later attacks him by gouging out his eye and other cyclops rush to help their congener, the latter explains to them that “Nobody” attacked him. Ulysses and his companions can therefore leave without incident.
#11 He better keep quiet
We finish with ancient Greece by evoking a king of the fourth century BC. JC, whose name we don’t know, but in the sense of repartee that would still make a lot of people laugh today.
One day, this king’s hairdresser asks him how he wanted his hair cut. To which he reportedly replied: “Silently”.
#12 What rascals these English.
We end with a more recent joke/riddle which dates from the 10th century, but which would be the very first known English joke. At the time, England finally succeeded in repelling the Viking invasions that began in the eighth century, thus leading to the creation of the Kingdom of England in the mid-920s. Nothing that explains the dubious meaning of what follows .
What dangles on a man’s thigh and likes to enter a hole he usually enters? Answer: a key.
Let’s be honest: these jokes may have been very funny at the time, but most may have a hard time finding their audience today. A bit like those intellectual jokes we shared with you a few years ago.
