We have all experienced a wave of anger before, to varying degrees. Discover in this article, the 5 tips to help you regain your calm.
1. Practice relaxation to control anger
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), relaxation techniques…. “like deep breathing and relaxing images can help calm feelings of anger. Indeed, the American Psychological Association offers some specific practices that can now help:
- Use the images, while visualizing something that causes relaxation. This either from experience or from imagination.
- Meditation, yoga exercises and tai chi can also help relax the muscles by promoting relaxation.
- Breathe deeply from the diaphragm. Because chest breathing will not promote relaxation.
- Repeating reassuring words, such as “I’m in control”, “relax”, “calm”… can also help.
- Finally, practice deep breathing during this exercise.
2. Identify a possible solution
Make a conscious effort to solve the problem, instead of focusing on the thing that makes you angry. Is your child’s erratic behavior upsetting you? Then look for something that will occupy him.
Does your loved one or friend do something that pushes you to your limits? Calm down, set clear boundaries and have a constructive dialogue.
Be aware that uncontrolled anger solves nothing. Often the result is much worse! Take a deep breath, keep some self-discipline, and therefore think of a rational solution.
3. Forgive and forget
Forgiveness is one of the most powerful antidotes for resentment. Indeed, letting anger and other negative feelings distort and disrupt life only leads to bitterness, pessimism and anger.
So if you can forgive a person who actually caused angry feelings…. You will both learn a valuable lesson.
Indeed, for you, forgiving shows that no one can control your state of mind. And for the person who angered you…the tolerance you show may be enough to remind them of the importance of keeping their promises.
Moreover, if an individual betrays you several times, it is therefore time to reconsider the relationship. Depending on the nature of the offense and the frequency of the offence… giving priority to forgiveness rather than forgetting may be the best (and healthiest) solution.
4. Cognitive restructuring to control anger
When faced with a stressful situation or person… Angry people tend to curse, swear, or act erratically.
Indeed, cognitive restructuring is all about changing the way we think. When it comes to anger management, the reason this method is so effective is that our thoughts are instantly dramatized and exaggerated when we are angry.
So instead of saying, “that sucks,” “I’m going to be late”…. Acknowledge the situation and instead say “I don’t control this situation”, or “I will stay calm, and they will find a solution”. So, when we make a conscious effort to rationalize our thoughts… there is a better chance of a favorable outcome.
5. Improve your listening skills
Indeed, by improving our listening skills… we also improve the communication between the other person and us. This is because it builds confidence, and this confidence can therefore help to mitigate potentially hostile thoughts and emotions.